


Irredeemable Actions

by fangsandwires



Series: Blurb Series [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other, Reader-Insert, Sticky Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-09 04:33:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17400095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangsandwires/pseuds/fangsandwires
Summary: The second part to Irrefutable Logic, continuing the story from the final chapter. A new era erupts from impossible circumstances. (Tags and rating have been edited from original posting)





	1. Spiralling

Your optics widened in dawning realization of what this entire mess had really been about. Your mind jumped back to the first encounter, back when you’d gotten abducted and chained to that damnable pole in the brig.

They weren’t just threatening for information. They hadn’t intended to just kill you afterward, even if you did speak.

_They were going to experiment on you, regardless._

The way you volunteered to spy, to betray the Autobots...it had all just played perfectly into their plans.

How convenient, that a human with the illusion of being smart, had _willingly_ offered to become their little turboferret?

Your rewired mind was attempting to sort out the situation, focusing on the direct outcomes related to your choices. It was an absolute clusterfuck and you couldn’t help but hold your head as the thoughts spiralled.

Shockwave’s voice barely broke through the torrent of your mind.

“From what you had referenced before,” He began, watching you struggle with the realization of what was about to happen, “It would be a logical assumption that you should be elated.”

The haughty comment wasn’t lost on you completely, as you looked up with a glare.

“I believe your words were, ‘if only’, in response to my comment of being a Cybertronian.” He furthered, baiting you into a rebuttal.

Information clicked into place a moment later, finally allowing you to speak. It felt like the panic was pushed to the back of your mind, presumably moved because it _was not helpful_ right now.

You felt that cold, logical part of your mind step up in its place, hands slowly lifting from your head as you carefully replied, “And what percentage of death am I looking at, this time?”

Shockwave’s optic practically glittered in mirth.

“The approximate failure rate has been greatly reduced, thanks to the full nanite integration of your human-sized frame. The hazard merely lies between 10 and 24%.” The scientist informed, looking over to tap a few things on the screen with an almost excited flourish.

You heard the numbers, but a question nibbled at your mind and you asked, “And if I _hadn’t_ been fully converted?”

Shockwave didn’t even bother to look back as he simply stated, “Projection of failure would be 92-100%.”

That didn’t make you feel any better.

With the presumed original rate of death from the tracker alone, you’d beaten ridiculous odds to even stay alive this long.

You mentally cursed whatever entity decided to give you the luck of a gold-plated leprechaun, and took another look at the blank frame that would soon be you.

The colors were distorted due to whatever liquid was inside the tank, but it looked very black. The armor was angled in sharp triangles in a few places, and the front chestplate looked strange. You moved to get a glimpse of the rest, noting a pair of wings peeking from the back.

“It already has an alt mode?” You asked, steadily becoming more curious. Sure, it was a terrifying experience, but the frame looked...nice?

Shockwave huffed in amusement and continued what he was doing.

“Need I remind you of what was _also_ said to Optimus during your trip?” His tone was shifting to that ‘must I speak simply?’ lilt, though still laced with delight.

You thought back for a second and suddenly your optics widened in realization.

“It flies!?”

“Decorative wings are highly illogical additions.” His response was the epitome of sass, making you feel a bit dumb for the obvious statement.

Despite the blow to your observation skills, a spark of excitement rose up in that moment of realization. You tried to squash it down, but the idea of being able to actually _fly_ and not take any more scrap from Starscream was tempting.

You dreaded asking the next question, but figured it was more or less like ripping off a bandaid and said, “So, when are we running the test…?”

Shockwave looked at you, and with a perfectly informative tone replied, “Immediately. Lord Megatron will be alerted to the results.”

You felt like your new spark just dropped out of your chest.

The scientist waved his cannon a bit and clarified, “If the process is not completed soon, the rate of failure will increase corresponding to how long your spark remains in the human frame. It is highly advantageous that you arrived when you did.”

You slapped your forehead and mentally berated yourself. Of course.

Shockwave fiddled with a few more settings before he leaned down to pick you up, finials twitching in satisfaction that his experiment could be attempted so soon.

You were carefully placed inside the machine that was connected to the containment tube with the frame. The inner chamber was dark, but small lights from the various parts glowed with idling energy.

The last thing you saw was Shockwave’s servo retreating out of the entrance. The door closed and locked with a heavy thump. You heard the power begin to spiral upward as the initiation sequence began, the machine buzzing and flashing all around you.

A secondary mechanism activated with a loud din, and suddenly, there was nothing but black.


	2. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fog finally clears.

There was absolute silence.

The feeling of weightlessness in a dark void.

It wasn’t like being asleep, it was more like a feeling of fog sitting across a deathly still night, hovering in an ethereal shroud.

Consciousness was a finicky thing. You felt alive, but possibly dead at the same time.

Then again, you’d never died before, so how would you know for sure?

The creeping stillness edged forward, drawing you more quickly through darkness until something more...solid met your senses.

Black filtered into a flash of monochromatic colors, and each color rippled into the next shade, the dark edges slowly eaten away by true hues as a murky green began to emerge.

It was still very quiet. The smallest noise was detected once your vision came back, drawing you further toward focus.

The haze you were in was still edging away, but your vision finally started to clear, trying to look past the viscous swirl of green.

You could see a blurry shadow quickly approach, but your mind didn’t register who it actually was. Screens began flying up and down in your vision, something you were already used to. They moved sluggishly at first, then sped up to the point nothing was able to be read.

A large box finally emerged and you had an immediate feeling of being slotted into your own body like falling out of a nightmare.

The words in your vision simply read, ‘All systems online.’

The screen dropped from your sight and you felt very awake, though cramped. Memories started clicking into place at what had happened. Before you got a chance to go through them, a thump resonated and the green liquid around you started to drain, removing the tint as you saw a purple form before you.

Your confused gaze met that singular, bright yellow optic of Shockwave’s through the glass. He looked absolutely stunned, focused intently on your faceplates. You blinked, leaning forward a bit. Your hand reached up toward the glass to press against it, but it took a moment for you to realize it was yours at all.

Your optics slid over to glance at the black armored servo, talons tapping the glass as the different parts shifted in minute movements as it flexed. The green liquid had almost completely drained, settling your weight on the bottom of the tube.

It was somewhat disturbing how easy it felt to just _stand_ there, like you’d always been like this. You didn’t feel dizzy, just intensely curious. The container let out a low hiss, depressurizing with a flourish of smoke as the glass split and opened.

You were still dripping with whatever liquid had surrounded you, and looked up slowly at the scientist. A few more things seemed to click, and you felt a jolt of clarity.

Shockwave had seemed poised to catch you in case you fell, but his absolute wonder laced the first two words he spoke, “It worked.”

The words sounded so clear to you, cutting through the silence of the lab. A smile tugged at your faceplates, the movement feeling foreign and familiar at the same time.

You started to reply, feeling a click in the back of your throat before it seemed to reset and the words came out.

“Lucky me.”

The sound of your own voice was decidedly different, but you assumed it would take some getting used to. After all, you didn’t expect Shockwave to duplicate the exact sound of your vocal chords.

The scientist extended his servo for you to take, and on some sixth-sense level, you could tell he was _elated_ at the results.

Carefully, you reached up and took his hand, stepping down from the containment tube. Once on the floor, you only had to look up a bit to meet his optic. The difference was interesting. You felt like you were on a more elevated playing field than before, able to stand fully before a Cybertronian without the risk of being overlooked or crushed.

Shockwave was still staring at you, so you decided to break the silence.

“As interesting as this is, I don’t think I’d like to do it again.” You stated with a short laugh, noting the scientist’s finials twitch as he came out of his own thoughts.

“A...logical conclusion. There was a point at which I assumed you were no longer functional.” He replied, the words sounding almost...relieved?

You tilted your helm curiously.

“What do you mean? I thought I was just out for, what, a few hours?” Your new wings gave an unconscious twitch, which caused you to look back in confusion before hearing Shockwave speak again.

His helm shook slowly, his reassurance giving way to a tired tilt of his finials.

“No, you have been immobile for over 1.33 deca-cycles...or rather, a month.” Your wings shot up in surprise, optics widening at the information.

“What?! No wonder you thought I died!” You exclaimed, personality coming through with your exclamation.

Shockwave actually laughed. The sound that met your audials wasn’t processed for a second after he did.

Once his delight died down, he stated, “I see your personality matrix is fully functional. Though, there are still subsequent tests that must be performed.”

The look on your faceplates deadpanned, and your wings dropped along with the expression. The first thing out of your mouth was, “Aren’t you done with trying to kill me with statistics?”

Shockwave made a sound similar to a snort and turned to walk toward his desk as he replied, “I will not be the one performing the tests. It is only logical for you to report to Knockout for a full systems check now that you’ve come online.” 

Your brow raised at that, but you didn’t argue. Sure, it made sense, but you didn’t even know if the medic would remember who the frag you were, after a month in a tube.

The scientist waved for you to walk forward, suddenly making you realize that you’d been standing in place the entire time. Tentatively, you moved to take a step, finding that the feeling was similar to what it was before. One pace, then two, and finally you were standing before Shockwave all the way across the room.

Wait, when did you get there so fast?

Shockwave seemed very pleased at the progress.

“Exemplary.” He stated simply, before guiding you around to face the lab door. “Inform Knockout to forward the scan results to me, once everything has been completed.”

With a little tap to your back, the scientist sent you on your way, watching you exit the room with an almost smug satisfaction.

What he _didn’t_ tell you, was that the experiment hadn’t been base-wide knowledge.

 

Things were about to get...interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADA. At least Shockwave didn't toss you out after a couple weeks. Unfortunately, not everyone knew that this was the plan, and there's sure to be some -really- interesting interactions ahead.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Fresh Paint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twice fooled and thrice irritated.

After exiting the lab, you checked your HUD display for the date out of curiosity. The Decepticons had their own way of keeping track of time, but from what you remembered, it seemed to correlate to Shockwave’s claim.

You hummed to yourself and began pulling up other data, offhandedly coming across your ‘ferret file’ after a few paces. All the data had been redacted with a big red ‘discharged’ on the bottom. You made a face and closed the file, lost in your own thoughts afterward.

The introspection of your new situation garnered most of your attention, so you didn’t notice a pair of passing Eradicons immediately stop and step aside for you to pass, watching you closely in confusion. You simply continued down the hall as the two exchanged a glance and followed after you for a few steps, pausing in the middle of the corridor to stare.

You made it halfway down the next hall before an audial-piercing screech shouted, “What are you two doing!? GET BACK TO WORK!” 

Your optics widened immediately after the shout, knowing  _ precisely  _ who was behind you. You looked back and felt that tingle of static rise in your frame when you saw Starscream chase off the two Eradicons behind you.

“Useless! What in the pit were you staring a-...” The charge sparked when Starscream locked optics with you, his entire demeanor shifting to something you’d never seen before.

He looked utterly flabbergasted. 

“...oh.” He muttered quietly, still staring for a good few seconds. 

It took a moment for you to realize  _ he didn’t recognize you _ . Your wings twitched in the realization before you turned to continue your trek to the med bay, refusing to stop walking even when you heard the seeker scrambling to catch up with you.

“You! Wait!” He called, but you just rolled your optics and kept walking. Starscream trotted up next to you and fell into pace, a bit too close for your taste.

“I wasn’t notified that we’d received another warrior onboard.” That almost sounded polite, coming from  _ him _ . “What’s your designation?” The question caught you off guard. 

If you just told him you were the turboferret, he’d probably either call you crazy or figure he could strong-arm his position over you. A quick search through your personal data gave you the name of your alt mode, an F-117, “Nighthawk.”

You gave a sidelong glance at the seeker, whose expression shifted to a slag-eating grin of victory. “Very well then,  _ Nighthawk _ ,” You didn’t like how he said your new name. “I shall accompany you, lest you get lost. Now, where are you headed?” 

You immediately regretted not telling the truth.

With a sigh, you replied, “I’m going to the medical bay.” You kept it short, trying not to let out any more information than necessary. Starscream did that annoying, haughty chuckle of his and quipped, “Well then, you must have a good sense of direction, since you were already headed the right way.”

You raised your brow at the joke, but didn’t say anything else. Thankfully, it wouldn’t take long to get to your destination, though walking beside Starscream kept sending that anxiety-laced static up the back of your neck.

After what seemed like an eternity, the med bay doors were in sight, and Starscream turned to you.

“Here we are.” He chirped, entirely too happy about getting you there. You jumped slightly when the air commander brushed his servo against your shoulder plating and added, “Do let me know if you require any further assistance.” You  _ really _ didn’t like how he said that.

The static prickled at the back of your helm and you managed a nod before Starscream turned to go, wings at a haughty angle as he walked away. 

Once he was gone, you gave a full-body shake and tried to brush the encounter off, walking into the bay like you always had.

Knockout looked up and gave a long whistle at your entrance.

“Well,  _ hell-o _ , tall, dark, and deadly.” Not this slag again.

 

You were  _ not _ doing this again so soon.

 

“Knockout. It’s me.” You said flatly, walking toward the medic. He was looking over your frame like a starving dog, chewing on his stylus.

“KNOCKOUT.” You barked, vocals a little more harsh than you intended. The medic jumped a bit in surprise and looked at you in total confusion.

“It’s ME. The ferret.” He didn’t seem to get it.

You gave a frustrated sigh and brought a servo to your helm, already feeling a headache coming on. How were you going to explain this…

Knockout snorted after a second and flipped his stylus between his fingers. “Oh, that was a good joke. Funny  _ and _ gorgeous? Sweetspark, you’re killin’ me.”

You glared at the medic between your fingers.

What was the one thing that would prove your claim? The grounding bracelet? The tracker? 

An idea popped into your head and you replied, “Y’know, I bet that polarity change from the nanites might still work. Maybe I should jump-start your memory.”

Knockout blinked at that, helm jerking up so fast you swore you heard a pop from his rotors.

_ Finally _ it looked like you got the right reaction. Just as a little added touch, you focused and small sparks skittered over the black armor. You didn’t really plan on going through with the half-assed threat, but it seemed to get the point across.

It looked like you gave the medic another stroke. His mouthplate worked a few times before a whispered, disbelieving “NOooo….” came out of his intake.

You could finally relax a bit and just replied, “Yes.” Knockout almost tripped over himself running up to you.

He grabbed your servos and immediately started examining your arms. “Slagging pit! How on Cybertron did  _ all this _ happen?!” He exclaimed, tugging your arm for you to twirl around and show him the wings.

“It was the machine Shockwave was building. I-ek!” A sudden touch to the wing plating made you jump, then turn quickly away from the medic’s curious servos. You didn’t realize they would be that sensitive.

Knockout held up his hands in apology and gave a cheeky smile. 

“Well, looks like that part’s fine.” His joke was met with a glare, but Knockout brushed it off and waved you over to the medical table.

“Come on, then. Let’s check those systems. I doubt Shockwave would let  _ anything _ be remotely buggy, but it’s best to make sure.” He informed, waiting until you sat down to pick up some maintenance cables.

“I  _ do _ have to say, though, that mech’s craftsmanship is spot on.” Knockout tapped your arm and a panel opened up to reveal a couple of ports for him to plug the cables into. You felt a weird, invasive tingle go up your arm to the back of your head.

“So I guessed. You weren’t the first one to appreciate the view.” You groused, making a face at remembering how Starscream escorted you to the bay.

Knockout looked at you with a raised brow and a curious hum, expecting more.

The scan started going through your data on the screen. You grimaced, not really wanting to reiterate what had happened.

The medic was still staring at you and tilted his helm curiously with a more insistent hum.

“Fine.” You finally agreed, reaching up to rub a servo across your faceplates. “Starscream saw me in the hallway, and took it upon himself to  _ escort _ me here. I swear, it was like something out of the twilight zone.” 

Knockout sputtered before letting out a full-on laugh. You didn’t find it funny.

“Oh, pet, that’s hilarious! Starscream trying to shmooze up to the new seeker on board…” He paused, and a devilish grin split his features before he added, “You know what you should do?”

Warily, you asked, “What?”

Knockout tapped his talons together in mischief and suggested, “You should keep letting him think that. After all the slag he’s put you through, what’s a little harmless payback?”

You shot him a look and replied, “I can see many, many ways this could go wrong.”

The medic waved his servo dismissively. “Oh posh, it’s just for fun. Besides, imagine the look on his faceplates when he figures out it’s you! Sure, I’d probably have to fix a mountain of glitches afterward, but still!”

You gave something of a snort and silently admitted to yourself that it  _ would _ be kind of funny. Not that you were going to actively try and lead the air commander on, but if he decided to keep bothering you, might as well have some fun with it.

You mulled over the idea as the scan continued, looking up once the machine pinged.

“Alright sweetspark, that’s it. Just as I expected, everything’s perfectly fine, but you’ll have to come in once in awhile for patches and general maintenance. Other than that, you’re running smoother than my finish.” Knockout gave a little smirk and removed the cables, letting your panel close afterward.

Just as you were about to get up, a message popped up in your vision.

 

‘Turboferret. New designation will be discussed. Report to the bridge for orders.’

 

Looks like your day wasn’t over, yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, writing this like they had no idea it was you was really funny to me. There's no way Knockout's idea could backfire, right? 
> 
> Next up; how's the bridge meeting going to go? Are you going to have to deal with this from everyone? How much of a fool can Starscream make of himself?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Nighthawk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new name, and a new mission.

You couldn’t help but be consistently surprised at how much more quickly you could get around the ship, now that you were of appropriate size. It hadn’t taken long to reach the bridge and you gave a quick exvent and square your shoulders before approaching the doors.

It almost felt like the entrance was in slow motion to you, stepping forward as Soundwave’s helm raised expectantly. Megatron had apparently been looking over some data next to the navigator, and you couldn’t help a swell of pride as his expression actually shifted to surprise.

Taking advantage of the fact you got another first impression, you graciously bowed to the two bots and greeted, “Lord Megatron, Soundwave.” By the time you stood straight, the overlord was already making his way over.

“Well...it seems Shockwave’s experiment was a success, after all.” Megatron stated, looking over your frame with what you assumed was a sneer of approval.

“He had been  _ adamant _ about giving your frame time to adjust. I would have smelted you after three days, had he not insisted.” The overlord smirked when your faceplates didn’t betray a look of surprise, but your wings twitched.

He leaned in close and added, “You should learn to keep those still, especially if you’re trying to act unbothered.” You consciously stopped the twitch that time, leaving the overlord to chuckle and back away again.

“That aside,” Megatron began again, arms moving to clasp his servos behind his back, “Now that you’ve become  _ infinitely _ more useful in your new frame, I intend to further your skills, and put them to use accordingly.”

You weren’t sure you liked the sound of that.

“You will begin a training regimen, as I’m sure your battle skills are practically non-existent.” It wasn’t really an insult if it was true. You’d maybe gotten in one or two fights in your life, and neither of them were on par with  _ war _ .

“Furthermore, your previous...what was it, ‘polarity shift’, will be monitored to assess its usefulness in said training. I advise you to make the most of it.” The overlord seemed pleased that you’d managed to stay composed, but that nervous static was making your backstrut itch.

You gave a small bow as response and replied, “Yes, Lord Megatron. I’ll do my best.”

Megatron smirked and retorted, “We’ll require much more than your ‘best’. Now, as for that designation you so flippantly informed Starscream of.” You felt a little spark jump up your neck.

The overlord brought a servo up to his chin in contemplation, giving you another going over before he said, “I suppose you don’t particularly look like a turboferret any longer...perhaps the new designation suits you better.” You hoped that was approval.

A moment passed and you wondered if it wasn’t. 

“Very well. You may carry on calling yourself ‘Nighthawk’, befitting as it is.” Ok, great. At least he wasn’t going to call you ‘ferret’ anymore.

“Furthermore, your training will begin immediately. The first session will be scheduled near the end of Soundwave’s duty shift. He will be the one to assess your progress.” You couldn’t help a surprised look at that.

_ Soundwave _ was going to help train you? 

You stole a glance at the lanky mech and didn’t say a word. That first interaction with Shockwave almost landed you in hot water with the navigator and you weren’t about to do it to yourself.

“Yes, Lord Megatron.” You replied, giving another short bow in response. It was best not to argue, especially since the realization that you were suddenly a much bigger target for his cannon crossed your mind. 

“You are dismissed. Do not be late for training,  _ Nighthawk _ .” The sound of your new designation rang in your audials, leaving you to bow once again and turn to leave the bridge. You didn’t have to look back to feel Soundwave’s gaze following you out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least you're not 'the turboferret' anymore. But now that you've been deemed useful, it's time to put those rotors to the test. 
> 
> How is the training going to work out? Will you be able to use the polarity shift to your advantage? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Magnetic Personality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes happen, but you're making a mess.

By the time you’d gotten back to the lab, Soundwave had sent you a list of data pads to look over. It was nearly three pages long of everything between grappling techniques to anatomy of the different builds of Cybertronians.

You weren’t even human anymore, and you _still_ had homework.

The doors slid open once you arrived, garnering a glance from Shockwave at your entrance before he continued with what he was doing. You noticed he’d removed a circuit board from the machine and was mid-solder when he’d looked up.

“You wouldn’t happen to have any specific data pads lying around, would you?” You asked, watching him work for a moment longer before he finally replied.

“It would depend on the content of the data pad you are searching for.” He soldered another bit together, a wisp of smoke rising from the board.

You sighed and responded, “I’m supposed read all the ones on a list Soundwave sent me. I thought you might have at least a few.” Shockwave paused and looked up again.

“Soundwave sent you a list?” The use of the navigator’s name apparently got his attention, since Shockwave set his soldering down and moved to stand.

“Yah, Lord Megatron wants me to have training sessions and said Soundwave was going to oversee them. Then I got the list.” You pulled up the packet of data in your HUD. It took a second to figure it out, but you eventually managed to forward the message to Shockwave.

His optic flickered, assumedly looking over the list before he turned and headed toward a large shelf, filled with data pads. You followed after a moment, watching as the scientist began pulling one or two, then keep going.

By the time he’d finished, the stack was as tall as your forearm. Shockwave turned and handed you the neatly organized set of data pads.

“Begin with these. Soundwave’s list is extensive, it will take you a long while to complete it.” He stated, turning to head back to his desk afterward.

You carefully balanced the pads and moved to set them on a different table, trying to keep them upright before looking over at the scientist and asking, “Do you mind if I just-?”

Shockwave didn’t look up as he replied, “Go ahead.”

You pulled up a chair and sat at the desk, taking the top data pad and turning it on. The information was not in English. You made a face and looked at the first line, trying to figure out what the glyphs were until your HUD helpfully started translating the words you were looking at. It was a struggle, since some words didn’t have an equivalent meaning, but at least you could get the gist of it by the sentence structure.

A couple hours passed, and you’d barely made it four pages into the first datapad. You finally decided to take a break and rubbed your faceplates in mild frustration, all the while Shockwave had been working on more parts.

You stretched out your backstrut, feeling a couple wires loosen before relaxing again. You glanced over at what the scientist was doing and wanted to ask, but he seemed focused.

Just before you turned back to the mind-numbing task of translating, you heard Shockwave state, “If you are finding it difficult, it would be logical to take a break.” Slagging mech knew they were all in Cybertronian.

You sighed and resigned that it would take you the rest of the year to finish even _half_ of Soundwave’s list.

“That seems like an appropriate suggestion.” You replied, moving to stand and walk over to the desk Shockwave was working at.

You just stood quietly by, watching his surprisingly deft servo apply delicate patterns of circuit work to the board. A few minutes passed before the scientist tilted his helm in the direction of the station across the room.

“Bring me the other box of circuitry over there, in the riveted container.” You glanced over and shifted to go get it, a thought crossing your mind as you pictured the box in your head and idly pointed in its direction

“I’m guessing you’re just changing the wiring because it took me so long to-OW!” A projectile had flown across the room and smacked your helm with a loud clang, falling to the floor afterward. The sudden noise startled Shockwave as well, looking up quickly to you holding your head, then down to see the box he’d mentioned a moment earlier sitting on the floor.

You followed his gaze and blinked in confusion.

 

“What the fragging pit just happened?!”

“Absolutely Illogical.”

You’d both exclaimed in surprise at the same time, exchanging a glance before staring back at the box. You rubbed your helm and hoped there wasn’t a dent before leaning down to pick it up.

“Where the pit did that come from?” You asked rhetorically, setting the box down again. Shockwave didn’t seem to have an answer, but it was interesting enough for him to stop working.

The scientist assessed the box, then looked over to you, apparently coming up with a theory.

“Attempt to recreate your process.” He ordered, pointing to a set of wrenches on the far wall. You looked over incredulously and moved your hand away from your head.

“The problem is I don’t even know what I did! I mean, I just got distracted asking you a question and thought about the box and-” A whizzing sound headed toward you before you could finish the sentence, Shockwave’s servo swiftly reaching up to stop a flying wrench.

You recoiled just before the tool was caught, about a foot from hitting your faceplates.

Shockwave withdrew his servo and examined the wrench, which seemingly affirmed whatever he wasn’t telling you about. His finials twitched in thought, and you did your best not to imagine any other tools sitting around the room.

All of a sudden, Shockwave stated, “Short range magnetic manipulation with minimal targeting. I would hazard a guess that the polarity effect of the nanites has transmuted into something more closely related to an extended magnetic field. With the electromagnetic nature of your alt-mode, I assume it was merely the next logical step.”

You caught most of that, but...what?

The scientist saw your confusion and huffed. “You can manipulate metal objects up to a certain radius. I believe humans would reference ‘telekinesis’, though an absolutely ridiculous-” Another wrench whizzed past you both, flying over and smacking the door. Oops.

You looked down guiltily and quietly admitted, “I was still thinking about the wrench.”

Shockwave brought his servo up to cover his optic in frustration.

“Do not focus on the tools. I do not enjoy reorganizing my entire lab, much less repairing broken equipment. Here.” He handed you the wrench in his servo before pointing to the door.

“Take that and practice, _outside_ , until you can control it. Unless you achieve that, or come to read the data pads, do. not. enter.” You looked down at the tool, a little disappointed that you had to leave, but Shockwave was right.

You couldn’t just be thinking of random objects and having them fly at your head, wrenches or otherwise.

There were still a few hours until you had to go to the training session. Maybe you’d get a better handle on it before then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the hilarity of an upgraded polarity issue, now including flying wrenches.
> 
> Surely if you can control it, Shockwave will let you back in the lab, right? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice makes perfect, but you've got a long way to go.

You’d decided to try and find somewhere secluded to mess with your newfound skill. The thought of using your old room occurred to you, but at this size, it would be far too cramped. 

Instead, you decided to be early, rather than late to your scheduled training and headed there. The area was in a different part of the ship than you’d usually visit, so it took a few tries to find the right room.

The doors slid open, and the space before you was revealed. A wide, open sparring ring sat in the center, with rows of practice weaponry, dummies, and other objects around the outside edge. You took it in for a moment before giving a short ‘hm’ and walking inside.

You guessed it must’ve gotten at least some use, since most things had wear-and-tear to varying degrees. Really, you were just thankful no one else was there at the moment.

You walked over to the ring, standing in the middle before looking down at the wrench in your servo. The thought of that box hitting your helm gave you a little hesitation, but Shockwave wasn’t going to let you back in the lab unless it was to study.

Wings twitching in determination, you held your servo out flat and extended your arm, watching the wrench as you focused. 

The tool sat perfectly still.

A ribbon of static danced up your arm as you focused harder, staring at the wrench with a determined glare.

Nothing.

You gave a sigh and rolled your helm in defeat. “Why isn’t this working…?!” 

You went to just drop the wrench in frustration, but it...it was stuck. With a shake of your arm, you flicked your servo to try and get it off, but the tool didn’t budge. You took your other servo and tried to pull it off, only resulting in sore plating on your palm afterward.

An indignant groan came from your vocalizer and you just dropped your arm to the side, trying not to think of how the frag you were going to-

A clunk sounded next to your pede.

You looked down and sat the tool sitting innocently on the floor. You felt your optic twitch. Pausing for a moment, you took a deep breath to avoid getting too angry, and turned to squat down next to the wrench on the floor.

After a short staring contest with the inanimate object, you lifted your servo and held it above the tool, doing the same as before, when you focused on the feeling of static in your arm. 

The wrench zipped straight up to your palm and stayed there.

Finally, you were making some progress! 

You tilted your helm and shook your servo a bit, confirming that the tool was stuck, before letting the charge drop. The wrench fell and bounced slightly on the floor.

A grin split your faceplates at the victory, and you did it a few more times to make sure. After you felt confident in the catch and release, you decided to attempt what had occurred in the lab.

You stood and walked a few paces away from the wrench, eyeballing it from across the room. Ok, you could do this. Just, don’t think of it coming at you like a frisbee.

Servo up, you watched the tool closely, trying to get a feel for what had drawn the object to you the first time. It wasn’t like the static sensation, that just made it stick to you. It was almost similar to what you assumed Soundwave’s tendrils felt like. An extension of yourself.

The wrench shifted at first, then began to twitch side to side, tapping the floor. You tried to focus a bit more, and smiled when the tool rose slightly off the floor. Very carefully, you curled your talons a bit and the object floated to you at a reasonable pace. Once it was close enough, you grabbed it out of mid air with a grin. 

Your wings shot up at the achievement and did a short happy dance at the results. Your victory was cut short, however, when you heard the door slide open. You looked around to see Soundwave standing at the entrance with an Eradicon behind him.

The navigator just tilted his helm slightly before entering, and you assumed he was surprised you were already there.

“I, uh, just decided to be early.” You stated, knowing Soundwave had probably already seen what happened in the lab.

The navigator simply walked over to the side of the mat, pointing at the following Eradicon before he crossed his arms expectantly.

You guessed he was pitting you against them, first.

The Eradicon walked up to the mat and moved into a stance you’d seen before, but you weren’t sure what to do besides toss the wrench aside and crouch down a bit in response.

Soundwave raised one servo and snapped his digits, signaling the Eradicon to come at you. 

The first bout was embarrassingly short. You barely dodged a punch before getting hit with a second, sending you staggering backwards before the Eradicon tripped you and had you on your aft. 

Once you were down, the vehicon stopped and moved back to his starting place, Soundwave’s silent screen watching you get back up.

You made a face as you got back on your feet, but another snap from the navigator sounded as soon as you were up. Your helm whipped around at the Eradicon just as he was about to swing.

In surprise, your knee-jerk reaction was to throw a hand up to try and block the punch, but instead of landing a hit, the Eradicon flew backwards across the mat. 

Soundwave stood up a little straighter at that, looking at you for a moment before turning to see the Eradicon move to get up. His helm tilted in silent contemplation before he looked back over, and snapped his fingers again.

You had a long way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I know it's not the most exciting chapter so far, but I felt like it was important to establish some of the things you could do. 
> 
> Naturally, Soundwave isn't going to compliment you, but at least you tossed the Eradicon.
> 
> Up next; little time cut, and Starscream is at it again.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Freefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the best solution is to just take the leap.

A few weeks passed, and you were always either head first in a mountain of data pads, or in the training room sparring with an Eradicon.

To be fair, you’d gotten quite a bit better with fighting, managing to keep yourself upright for a while before either making a mistake or knocking your opponent down. There was even a time you threw an Eradicon and stuck him to the ceiling with a magnetic charge.

That was fun.

You’d also been practicing diligently with your magnetic field, mostly because you wanted to be able to go back to the lab sooner than later. Shockwave was a bit of a mad scientist, but you liked his company. You guessed he might feel similarly, since he hadn’t kicked you out until it became truly dangerous for you to be around.

The makeshift habsuite you’d been given before was also changed, giving you a small, but infinitely more comfortable room between the training room and main hallway. At least it let you have enough room to relax and practice a bit if you wanted. Plus, Soundwave wouldn’t be mad because you almost certainly wouldn’t be late for any sessions.

Currently, you were looking over the fourth datapad from Soundwave’s list, having picked up quite a few words and glyphs, but still having to take your time while reading. You were about mid-sentence when you saw a message pop up on your screen.

‘Nighthawk, flight practice has been scheduled. Report to main hangar for instruction.’

The order caught you off guard, and you suddenly remembered you hadn’t even tried to transform into your alt mode yet.

You really, really hoped Soundwave was going to be the one to show you. Even Megatron. Anyone was better than Starscream.

With a resigned sigh, you put the datapad down and moved to get up. Primus please, anyone but the air commander.

* * *

 

You made your way to the hangar and prayed that you’d see an aerial Eradicon waiting for you. Instead, you heard the sound of quick pedefalls following up behind you in the hallway.

Glancing back with a slight sense of dread, you saw Starscream approaching.

Scrap your wings and burn you in a smelter.

“How advantageous. I assume you’ve also been assigned to scout for Autobot activities?” He questioned, still doing that obnoxiously considerate mannerism from before.

You tried to keep your face neutral and replied, “I suppose so.” Turning to continue on your way, you saw the air commander keep pace out of the corner of your optic.

“Well, this will certainly prove to be _far_ more interesting than flying alone, wouldn’t you say?” He furthered, seeming entirely too happy about it. You resisted the urge to roll your optics.

At this point, you weren’t even sure you could pull off a seemingly normal transformation on the first try, much less figure out how to take off afterward. That same nervous static tickled the area between your wings at the thought.

You tried to change the subject and replied, “Are you always sent off by yourself for this kind of thing?” Starscream seemed to take the question and run with it, beginning to ramble.

“You have _no_ idea. Every time, Megatron sends me off to a scouting mission just to get me out of his wires! It’s irritating, but at the very least, I get out of this damnable ship.” You raised a brow at the commander, guessing that was a seeker thing.

When you really thought about it, being cooped up inside was starting to get on your nerves, too.

Eventually, the two of you made it to the open hangar and Starscream practically strutted to the landing strip and transformed, drag fins twitching slightly.

“Well, come on then!” He encouraged, making you feel immediately nervous. You’d been trying to figure out the manual transformation command on the way there, and _nothing_ had come up.

Trying to act like you knew what the frag you were doing, a ridiculous, stupid, completely illogical idea occurred to you, and you walked toward the edge of the hangar. Looking down, you could see nothing but clouds. There wasn’t even a view of the ground.

Starscream rolled up behind you and questioned, “What? Aren’t you going to transform?” He seemed confused as you glanced back and flashed a smile, weary confidence welling up as you replied, “Sure I am.”

You dropped off the edge.

The air commander immediately took off after you, but you were too focused on the descent. The wind whipping past you, that stabilizing sensation from your new sensors...it felt like it was just...right.

Without even realizing what happened, your form shifted into your alt mode, still free falling before your thrusters kicked on.

It took a second for you to get out of the nosedive, but you managed to pull off a graceful aileron roll and catch the air beneath your wings.

Starscream flew up next to you and wobbled a bit in the air with a huff. “That was dramatic, even for me.” He teased, giving a little twirl afterward.

You actually laughed at that, weaving a bit in the air. It kind of felt like high-speed swimming, if you thought about it.

“Don’t be a grouch, it was fun.” You replied, slowing a bit to follow behind the air commander. The slipstream off his wings cut just in front of you, and that seemed like a good place to stop.

Starscream gave something of a chuckle in return and turned slightly to change course.

“It was certainly a graceful dive. Now, follow me.” He finally responded, guiding you toward the scouting route that had been assigned.

* * *

 

The flight actually wasn’t too bad, aside from Starscream’s incessant attempts at small talk. You just tried to answer without egging him on too much, but it was probably the best mood you’d ever seen him in.

About an hour later, the circuit was complete, with no Autobot signals found. The two of you returned to the hangar. You hovered for a moment before transforming back to bot mode with surprising ease.

The flight had definitely been a pleasant experience, removing the suffocation of being stuck going from reading, to training, to resting, and back again. You couldn’t help a little stretch, but paused after a moment when you felt optics on you.

Starscream had a dreamy grin on his faceplates and only snapped out of it when you asked, “What?”

The air commander blinked and tried to act like he hadn’t just been oogling you seconds earlier.

“Oh, it’s nothing, just that I rarely fly with anyone who knows to stay behind the slip stream. All the Eradicons always follow too closely and agitate the wind pressure.” He gave a slight laugh, trying to act innocent.

You raised a brow at the transparent excuse and lowered your arms. Starscream was an idiot.

At the risk of inflating his ego, you replied, “Well, thanks for the compliment, but I really need to get back to what I was doing.” You turned to head back toward the hallway, immediately irritated that Starscream was still following you.

The air commander started gesticulating to himself and kept. Talking. “Though I’m sure you _are_ quite busy, I was curious if you may be interested in-”

You cut the seeker off by looking back sharply. The suggestion Knockout gave you suddenly crossed your mind, and a smirk spread across your faceplates as a mischievous plan popped into your head.

Starscream backed up slowly as you approached, eventually getting him up to the wall before you reached up and tapped his chestplates with a talon.

The air commander audibly gulped and you replied, “Hold that thought. I have work to do.”

A little crackle of static went up your arm before you pulled away, walking off with a self-satisfied grin.

When Starscream tried to follow you, he couldn’t move. He tried two or three times, but his frame was stuck to the wall. He gave a frustrated huff and called, “What is this?!”

You just waved a hand back and retorted, “You’ll be fine in a few minutes. Cool your jets.”

At least that would keep him out of your wires until you got out of range.

Knockout was right. That was fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie, half of this involved wine, so I may or may not rework it later.
> 
> Screamer strikes again and gets glued to the wall for his flirtations. At least you can fly now.
> 
> Next up; more time with Shockwave and your sparring sessions level up.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions and a realization.

After the ‘flight practice’ with Starscream, you still had a few hours to kill before your training session with Soundwave. You were almost to the point of just constantly knocking down the Eradicons during the spars, so you weren’t as nervous as you had been at first.

You paused for a moment as you came up to the hallway that led to the lab, glancing in its direction before considering whether or not you should drop by. You hadn’t seen Shockwave since you borrowed his data pads, and figured it would be nice to see what he was up to.

A short walk later, you found yourself at the entrance, staring up at the doors for a few seconds before stepping forward as they slid open. You tentatively poked your head in, spying the scientist going over something that looked like plans for a new device.

It took a moment before you realized Shockwave was too engrossed in his work to look up. You took a few steps inside, and he finally glanced over once you approached the side of the desk.

“I thought I’d drop by and see how things were going.” You announced, giving a little smile. 

Shockwave’s optic gave a singular flash before he asked, “Has your magnetic field stabilized?”

You nodded in response, reaching over to pick up a metal stylus. Releasing it in mid-air, the pen floated over your servo and began to spin slowly in various directions as proof.

“I made sure to practice.” There was a short pause, the scientist examining the movements of the stylus as your next thought accidentally slipped out of your mouth, “I didn’t want to be locked out of the lab, forever.”

Shockwave looked up at you, apparently curious. It took a second to realize what you said and the pen dropped back into your servo before you put it down.

“I mean-” You hesitated, glancing away from the scientist’s gaze. Assuming it was better to be out with it, you finally continued, “I just...like being in here, and watching you work. It’s interesting, and... I guess, I missed it.” 

You weren’t sure if that confession sounded too cheesy, but it took a moment to gather your courage and glance back at Shockwave.

His lack of actual faceplates always made it hard to know what he was thinking, but you suddenly got the feeling that it’d been ridiculous to say anything.

You made it awkward. Great. Now you had to hope Shockwave didn’t think you were an idiot.

You gave an embarrassed smile and glanced off again, turning slightly with the intent to flee as you added quickly, “Sorry, I shouldn’t bother you while you’re working-”

Just after you turned, you were stopped before taking a step. Shockwave had reached up and gently grabbed your wrist before you moved away. You looked back, first at his servo, then up at him.

The scientist’s finials lowered slightly as he looked up at you and finally replied, “You did not ‘bother’ me. I set that criteria to avoid accidental injury to yourself, not to punish you for being in the lab.

Your wings raised a bit at the way he explained his reasoning, and wondered if bots could blush, because your faceplates felt warm. Not to mention, he was still holding your wrist.

You gave a little ‘heh’ and glanced off again before quietly joking, “Irrefutable logic, as always.”

When it looked like you weren’t going to run away, Shockwave let go, but you could still feel his touch on your plating.

“In all honesty,” He began, servo resting on his knee after drawing it back, “The progress you’ve made in such a short time is impressive. You’ve succeeded in every task given to you with an unexpected level of proficiency, which is an admirable trait.” You felt a little static go up your neck at the obvious compliment, not bothering to hide the happy little twitch of your wings in response.

“Succeed, or die trying, I suppose. Though, I do have to admit I did something kind of stupid earlier…” Your servo came up and traced an armor piece on your helm sheepishly, seeing Shockwave cock his helm in curiosity.

“Well, I got sent to the hangar for flight training, and since I’d never transformed before, I just…” You paused for a second, realizing it was really dumb after Shockwave just explained he was trying to stop you from hurting yourself in the lab before.

He was going to get mad, and you knew it, but you kept talking anyway.

“I just jumped. I thought something would click and it would work. I mean- it did, I’m fine, and it was actually kind of fun, but-!” Mid-babble, the scientist had stood quickly and closed the gap between you. What you didn’t expect, was his servo coming up to take hold of your chin, tilting it up to stop the line of excuses and have you look at him.

Shockwave didn’t look as furious as you expected, but you sensed a combination of irritation and worry coming through in the gaze of his optic.

“I explicitly told you not to go leaping off  _ anything _ , much less out the hangar doors.” He rumbled, leaning in slightly to prove his point. You blinked in surprise, wings giving a shake. 

Right. You were in trouble. You really shouldn’t be thinking about how close the scientist was standing, and that he was touching your face.

Your vocals finally seemed to work again and you carefully replied, “I know, but I couldn’t find a manual transformation command and I had to…” This was going to be terrible. 

 

“Wing it.”

 

The pun broke the tension, snapping Shockwave’s focus on the issue for a second. His finials almost flattened in a completely unamused expression.

“That is not funny.” He groused, though the tone was more ‘done with your shit’ than anything else.

You grinned and reached up with both servos, taking hold of the scientist’s hand to lower it from your face.

“Come on, it was a little funny. And I know, I was being completely idiotic, but I just had a hunch it would work. Besides,” You glanced down at the large servo in your hands, idly rubbing your thumbs over the metal without thinking. “I don’t intend to misuse the frame you gave me. I like it.”

Since you were glancing down, you didn’t see Shockwave’s finials spring up at the comment. After a moment, you became aware that you were still holding his servo and let go, glancing off in embarrassment. 

“I know I said it before, but I won’t do that again...y’know, now that I know how to actually get into alt mode.” You acquiesced, glancing up at Shockwave again. His servo moved to lightly cup the side of your helm this time, barely brushing an armor ridge before he spoke.

“It is illogical to put yourself in danger, considering there will be innumerable hazards in the future.” His tone was serious, but...kind? Concerned? You weren’t sure how to place it. 

The words echoed in your audials until he continued, “As a Decepticon, you will be obligated to do whatever Lord Megatron requires, be it menial or risking your life to further the cause. I do not wish for your end to be self-inflicted in any way.”

That was the first time something about the scientist really clicked with you.

He was berating you because he  _ cared _ what happened to you. You’d always been sure you were a minor annoyance to him, coming into the lab all the time and wanting to help him with little things. The little lab pet unknowingly aiding in their own unforeseen experiment.

The realization made your spark jump in your chest.

Once Shockwave moved his servo, you gave a knowing smile and nodded, “You’re right. I made a choice, and I’m going to have to stay focused on what I need to do.”

A distinct sense of understanding passed between you before the scientist gave a nod of approval and moved to sit again. You went to grab a chair and sit across from Shockwave after he started on his design once more, content to just watch him work until it was time for your training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I literally could -not- help myself with that pun. I let it get all serious and just ruined it.
> 
> Ok, I'm not sorry.
> 
> I also fibbed. Next one will be training level up.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I did writing it. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. House of Flying Daggers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best defense is a good offense.

You had a little spring in your step after leaving the lab. Thinking about what happened with yourself and the scientist just made your wings twitch happily as you made your way to the training room.

As usual, you were slightly early according to the schedule. However, once the doors slid open, you saw Soundwave inside already. Your wings twitched in curiosity as you saw the navigator going over the various weapon racks in the room before he glanced back at you.

The weird part was, it was  _ just _ Soundwave. 

The expected Eradicon training partner was nowhere to be seen. 

You tilted your helm in slight confusion and approached, but barely managed to catch Soundwave’s quick turn as he threw something at you a moment later.

Your magnetic field spiked and a dull training dagger stopped mid-air in front of your faceplates. It was a shock to your systems, but that was a pretty quick answer to what you were doing today.

“I take it that means we’re moving on to weapons training.” You stated plainly, the metal weapon spinning a few times as it floated around and dropped into your open servo.

Soundwave seemed satisfied with your reaction time and looked back at the weapons rack, picking up a long staff and a handful of the remaining daggers. You expected it when he just tossed the stack, each of the blades floating up and over to you.

Thinking for a moment, you guessed that since you didn’t have enough hands, you could just let them hover around. The training daggers floated in different directions until you finally decided on keeping them in an arc over your shoulders.

The navigator idly twirled the training staff in his servo before walking across the mat to a starting position. He raised a servo and curled his digits in a ‘come at me’ gesture.

You weren’t sure how this was going to go down, but determination swelled up in your spark as you moved into a stance.

Soundwave didn’t even look like he was ready, but you let a dagger fly, the metal spinning toward the lithe mech until it got close enough and-

 

TING.

 

The dagger flew off across the room, clattering to the ground. Soundwave had barely moved his arm, using the staff to deflect the attack.

Oh, so  _ that’s _ how this was going to go.

You recalled the lost weapon and it swiftly flew back into position with the others. Optics glowing slightly brighter, you sent another dagger flying at Soundwave, then another. Each and every blade was effortlessly deflected by the navigator, flying off and getting recalled over and over.

After it seemed you got into a rhythm, Soundwave apparently decided to shake things up and come  _ toward _ you while blocking the projectiles, leading you to dodge and avoid swings of the staff while trying to focus on slinging the daggers from various directions.

You started to get a bit tripped up in all the movement, Soundwave’s weapon barely missing your faceplates as you miscalculated a dagger and it whizzed past your helm, drawing a notch in the armor.

The hesitation afterward gave Soundwave a chance to trip you with the butt of the staff, landing you on the mat as all the daggers dropped out of mid-air. The weapon zipped up and pointed at your chestplate with an obvious ‘you lost’ gesture before it moved away and Soundwave let you get up.

He wagged a digit in a circular motion, signaling that you were going to do it again as he walked back to a starting position.

Once you were standing again, the daggers floated back to position and you got ready once more. This was going to be a lot harder than just throwing an Eradicon around…

 

* * *

A few hours later, and you were still getting put on your aft by the navigator time after time. Just as you thought you’d made some progress, Soundwave would pull some move and send you falling to the mat with ridiculous precision.

Each time, Soundwave was punishing your failure with harder hits, leaving dents and scrapes all across your armor. He seemed to be getting frustrated with your lack of improvement and just kept pushing you harder.

After resetting for another round, you saw him move to replace the standard staff with another weapon, picking up a shorter pole with a sharp blade attached to the end.

Wait. He wasn’t really...no…

Your optics widened in surprise as Soundwave simply moved into position and readied himself. He didn’t wait for your hesitation to lift as he charged forward with the blade, narrowly missing your side as you dodged a thrust.

The daggers around you wobbled in surprise but you quickly tried to catch your panic, trying to use hits of the smaller blades to deflect or go for Soundwave’s frame.

He didn’t let up the assault, keeping you on your toes as you got away with narrow misses and glancing blows to your armor. 

There was a point that the navigator slashed at your arm, but used the distraction to trip you by the pede and send you falling.

You saw Soundwave pulled the blade back, poised for a downward strike right in the center of your chestplates and time slowed for a moment.

Was he...actually going to kill you?

The thought made something in your processor snap, time returning to normal just as you hit the floor.

It took a moment for your processor to catch up afterward, but you had waited for a strike that never came.

Looking up, you saw Soundwave holding the blade in both servos, but frozen in place.

_ Every weapon _ in the room was surrounding him, blades pointed toward his frame and dangerously close to making contact. Soundwave was stock-still in the middle, one servo slowly loosening its grip off the weapon.

You noticed his movement and the weapons all began to float away a bit, giving him more room to move.

Once he moved the blade aside, the other weaponry retreated and you actually had to focus a bit to put them back.

Soundwave seemed to give it a moment before he walked over to you, looking down before extending a servo to help you up.

Guess you were actually dangerous, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew getting put in an actual life-or-death situation could help your training? 
> 
> Up next; drama. Big drama. HUGE drama. I'm not giving anything away.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe you shouldn't have asked.

After training, you decided to head to the med bay and get a few of the deeper scratches in your armor patched. You weren’t particularly vain, but all the dents and dings from being smacked around by Soundwave were a little obvious.

As soon as you stepped through the door, Knockout whipped his helm around, but immediately relaxed with an exasperated expression and exclaimed, “Oh thank Primus, it’s you.”

You blinked and walked over, wondering where that came from.

“What?” The medic sighed and scooted his chair aside to let you hop up on the table.

“ _ Starscream _ , that’s what. Slagging mech has been coming in here to ask me everything under the sun about you.” You blinked at the information. Sure, Starscream was annoying, but he was asking  _ Knockout _ about you?

“You’re kidding.” You claimed with a slight laugh, but the medic gave you a look that proved otherwise.

“Sweetspark, he would  _ not _ stop talking about how perfect a flier you were, or how ‘well-proportioned’ your frame was. Slag, he even told me you pinned him to the wall!” You made a face at the last bit, holding up your servos defensively.

“Nononono, I  _ magnetized _ him to the wall because he wouldn’t stop following me. Primus, how deluded is he?” The clarification was met with a flick of Knockout’s servo, cable in hand.

“Pet,  _ I _ know that, but Screamer isn’t good at taking hints. Unlike you, a lot of seekers are...well, I’ve met drones smarter than some.” The admission made you cock your helm, but aside from Starscream, you hadn’t really run into any other bots with the same frame.

“So you’re basically telling me I’d have to let the ferret out of the bag to get him to stop bothering me?” You clarified, watching Knockout grab a couple more instruments to help fix your dents and scratches.

“Sweetspark, I don’t honestly know if he’d even process the information at this point.” Knockout made a face and waved a tool around as he added, “That mech is bound and determined to flirt his wings off to...what do humans call it,” The medic paused in thought and finally remembered, “ ‘get in your shoes’.”

You rolled your optics and corrected, “It’s ‘get in your pants’, and I am  _ not _ entertaining that idea.” The complaint was followed by a shrug from Knockout before an absent thought crossed your mind and came out your mouth, “I wouldn’t know what the hell to do, anyway. It’s not like I know anything about how bots get it on.”

Knockout slowly turned his helm toward you and the smarmiest grin spread across his faceplates.

“That sounds like you want to know.” He prodded, turning on a buffer before he walked over. The medic took your arm and started running it over the armor.

You glanced off, trying to look annoyed. “I didn’t say that.” The assertive tone was probably a little too harsh, and you didn’t bother watching Knockout as he worked

The medic just grinned wider and replied, “Oh, well then. I would’ve thought with the way you and Shockwave are so friendly, it’d already be obvious.” 

Your wings flew up at the accusation and your faceplates heated up as you gave an indignant glare at the medic and snapped, “ _ No _ , it’s  _ not obvious! _ ”

Knockout smirked and kept working as he replied, “Oh, come on, Sweetspark. I mean, I don’t get what you see in him, but whatever you’re into. Thought for sure after he tried to shoot me when I talked about Optimus liking you, he’d made it pretty clear.” The medic’s tone was nonchalant, but you hadn’t heard anything about  _ that _ .

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“Oh,” Knockout paused for a second, acting like it was nothing but the smirk on his faceplates never left, “Shockwave was watching that feed during your trip, and I might’ve mentioned him missing you and said it looked like the Prime was making moves. Then he tried to shoot me. That part wasn’t great, but I haven’t seen him get  _ that _ mad over something besides failed experiments.” The medic raised his brows, watching you for a reaction.

It felt like you’d dunked your head into a smelter, or your face was melting. One of the two. 

You just stared with wide optics at the medic, completely disbelieving everything he just said. Finally, you decided it was just had to be a lie to get a rouse out of you.

“There’s no way that happened.” You finally replied, expression changed to a skeptical glare.

Knockout put his servo over his chestplate and raised the tool as he chirped, “Medic’s honor.”

“You have no honor.” You sniped, to which Knockout faked a hurt look.

“Oh, ouch. But seriously,” Knockout raised his brow and waved the buffer around again, “You think he’d give you  _ such _ a nice frame if it wasn’t on his mind?”

Have your faceplates melted yet? No? Maybe it was just a couple wires then.

“That’s...ridiculous.” You finally said, looking off again. “It’s completely-”

“ ‘Illogical’?” Knockout cut you off with a grin and moved to work on some more scratches. “Sweetspark, it’s  _ so _ obvious. I bet if you didn’t come here to get all these dents fixed he’d go on the warpath to figure out where they came from.” The medic blinked and glanced at you.

“Where  _ did _ they come from?” Knockout waggled his brow suggestively and you scoffed, “I was training with Soundwave. He smacked the slag out of me with a staff for a few hours. Get your head out of the gutter.”

Knockout’s grin widened at your phrasing. 

“Shut up and fix it.” You groused, glancing off again. You kept trying not to think about what he said before, but the idea that Shockwave might actually like you more than anticipated kept wriggling its way to the front of your mind.

You glanced over and saw Knockout grab another tool to straighten out the dents, watching him for a moment as you mulled over the next question to ask.

With a tentative side-eye, you inquired, “So, what exactly does it entail…?” 

“What does what entail?” He replied, playing dumb with a smirk. Your optics narrowed.

“You know what I mean.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Knockout’s smile widened again.

You sighed in frustration and rolled your optics. “I don’t know the word.” Knockout just watched you for a second, and you knew he was just waiting for you to say it.

“I guess…” The closest thing you could guess was the Cybertronian curse, “...frag-ing?”

Knockout didn’t miss a beat and replied, “Well, I guess for a quick meet-up that works, but it’s also called ‘interfacing’, pet.”

You covered your faceplates with your free servo and looked off, begrudgingly agreeing, “Yah, whatever, ‘interfacing’. Explain.”

Knockout seemed satisfied with making you squirm and started simply, “Well, generally two bots who  _ really _ like each other start by messing around a bit, fans kick on, interface protocols boot up, y’know.” You suddenly remembered the last conversation you had with the medic and your wings twitched.

“Go on.” You said flatly, still not looking as he buffed out a scratch on your side.

“And once the modesty paneling retracts, either the spike or valve is revealed, then they just..” You glanced over when Knockout paused, seeing that he’d put the tool down and held up his servos, one making an ‘o’ and the other holding up his digit as he made the motion of putting them together.

You blinked, optics wide as your wings ticked up as you realized  _ it was almost exactly like what you thought _ . Save for the whole paneling and fans kicking on, but the image that came to mind when you put together the motion and  _ Shockwave _ made a wave of static go over your frame.

Knockout noticed and grinned, “ _ Now _ whose mind is in the gutter?” He sassed, reveling in your absolute discomposure before he added, “Of course, it’s up to the bots who picks what, but that just depends on the situation.” He casually waved a servo and went back to work.

You somewhat regret even bringing the subject up, but the logic prodded back at your discomfort. It was probably better to know, than be completely in the dark. 

A little voice in the back of your head hoped Knockout’s theory was right, but Primus knows how you’d be able to look Shockwave in the optic again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked Knockout's explanation. Also, he was having way too much fun with that.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Trial Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scientist’s optic flashed for a second and focused on your with something of a side-eye as he replied, “Merely a first trial.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very NSFW, so you can read it if you've been waiting for me to get off my ass and do this part, or you can skip if you want. The story is going to pick back up next, but I mean...yah, I took a few days writing it to make sure it was on the up'n'up. =w=
> 
> This also goes off the assumption that all bots have both a spike and valve, and I tagged the fic with a sticky warning. If all is cool, read on.

After talking with Knockout, you tried to push away the thoughts that kept coming to your processor about everything that was said. Sure, all the dents and dings got fixed, but you still had residual embarrassment about the whole conversation.

Shockwave had actually gotten  _ mad _ when Knockout teased him? You knew the medic liked to get in a good jab every once in a while, bit still. The only other time you’ve seen the scientist get remotely irritated was when you did something that could result in injury.

Surely that didn’t mean Shockwave liked you  _ like that _ , though...right?

You wouldn’t put it past Knockout to pull a prank, but everything was lining up a little too well to be a simple trick.

You brought a servo up to your chin in thought, mind working to find some way to figure it out, one way or another. Mid-step, and idea popped into your head.

What’s the most logical way to test a theory? 

Why, to do an experiment to find the answer.

The deduction was so ridiculously simple, you were disappointed you hadn’t thought of it sooner. The next step would be figuring out how to go about it. 

You didn’t want to just up and ask, since you’d probably fry your processor halfway through the question. Plus, you doubted Shockwave would outwardly admit to anything like that, anyway. 

It took a few more paces for a possible solution to come to mind. You were always in the lab reading off Soundwave’s list, and you weren’t anywhere near done, so maybe…

You could just...flirt a little?

Of course, it wouldn’t be anywhere  _ near  _ Starscream’s level of incessant prying, but if you kept it subtle, it might work. 

The idea seemed solid enough, so you turned down a corridor to swing by your room. There were a few data pads you had to return, anyway, and it would be a perfect excuse to do a little initial testing.

* * *

 

You walked into the lab a little later, carrying the five tablets you’d been meaning to return. Looking around, you didn’t see anyone inside at at all.

That was weird. Shockwave was almost always working on something, fixing parts, or planning his next experiment.

Guess your plan would have to wait.

With a shrug to yourself, you walked over to the shelf that held the rest of the scientist’s library of data pads and glanced at the engraved numbers on the side of the ones in your servos, taking your time to find the correct place to put them back.

By the time you got to the third one, you realized it was from a much higher shelf that you couldn’t reach. You gave a little hop trying to at least touch the edge, but it was no use. The shelf was built for Shockwave, not you.

Your wings gave an annoyed twitch as you tried to jump again, but still didn’t make it. In an effort to do it yourself, you focused and tried to use your field to hover the data pad up to the shelf, hoping to get it in the right place. You were so focused, you didn’t hear footsteps coming up behind you.

All of a sudden, you heard Shockwave’s voice inform you from directly behind, “That is an illogical solution to-”

Three things happened in that moment. 

First, you lost focus on the tablet, and it started to fall. 

Second, Shockwave caught the pad mid-air. 

And third, your focus immediately shifted to the mech behind you and your field went with it.

In a completely accidental manner, your magnetism yanked you back, and Shockwave forward at the same time. The result was both of your frames flush together, your wings pressed against his chassis and aft to his codpiece. Your servos had reflexively reached back and ended up against the scientist’s thigh plating to try and catch your balance. It took half a second to realize what just happened, but the magnetic field held strong despite your fluster.

You heard the scientist give a kind of surprised grunt at the sudden movement, your processor automatically fearing the worst. Scrap, scrap, scrap! Shockwave was probably going to kick you out of the lab again for the slip up!

Slowly, you turned your helm to look back at Shockwave, afraid that he’d be angry. An apology almost came out of your intake, servo shifting minutely with your turn and a somewhat strangled groan came from the scientist.

You...didn’t expect that.

The field was still keeping you firmly up against Shockwave’s frame, and your train of thought was a mess. You stared back at the singular optic above, which was focused  _ intently _ on you. The gaze sent a shiver of static down your frame, a few stray sparks jumping to Shockwave’s body as well.

You started to try and apologize with a “Sor-” but the word immediately died in your vocalizer when you caught movement out of the corner of your optic. Shockwave’s servo simply dropped the tablet and then reached toward you.

You didn’t move, unable to help a shiver when his hand made contact with your neck cabling. Shockwave apparently approved of the reaction, since you  _ felt _ his engine give a little rev. 

This was not the plan.

The scientist’s servo traced down a couple cables, dull claws slipping just under your collar of armor before tracing the edge across. The movements were slow, carefully moving across your paneling with a knowing touch. Shockwave  _ had _ made your new body, after all.

You knew he could already tell how flustered you were, fans on the verge of flipping on to stop your frame from overheating. Your processor kept trying to formulate an apology for still being stuck to Shockwave’s frame, but every time he brushed a wire or joint the action was pushed back. 

Shockwave’s servo mapped back around, touching a piece of armor that was close to your wings and the sensation caught you by surprise, drawing a small sound from your vocalizer in response. You didn’t expect him to tweak the section firmly afterward, which made you groan. Your hips reactively pushed back as you tried to arch into the touch, pressing your aft firmly against his codpiece.

His engine rumbled again, sending vibrations down the length of your wings. That was enough to finally have your fans activate with a small click, intake slightly open to try and get more air. You felt Shockwave’s servo come up and loosely curl around your neck cabling, tilting your helm up to look at him again.

Shockwave’s optic was slightly darker, but still laser focused on your disheveled expression. He gave a very light squeeze and ordered lowly, “Release the field.”

The tone of his vocals sent another little static jolt through your body and you tried to focus long enough to remove the magnetic attraction. You felt the pull release after a moment, though you remained close to Shockwave’s frame. 

The scientist’s servo moved from your neck and traced down to the edge of your chest plating, running over the sharp angles and edges of the glass. You felt Shockwave lean over you as one digit caught the underside of an armor piece, tugging gently at a hidden wire that made you gasp again.

His helm hovered next to your shoulder, servo splaying across a panel close to your hip as he rumbled into your audial, “There appears to be a new factor in your loss of control…” A talon brushed the edge of your waist, catching another wire that made you grip at Shockwave’s plating and groan.

“Perhaps it should be examined more closely.” The scientist suggested, his hand pausing just at the joint of your upper thigh. At this point, you didn’t have half the processing power needed to really answer. Static charge jumped across your frame with every little touch from the scientist and the best you could do was nod in response.

That was apparently enough, and Shockwave’s deft fingers slid just a little further, drawing along the edge of the modesty paneling  _ painfully _ slow. Something small pinged in your vision and your panel retracted. Shockwave’s engine growled again, his fingers suddenly brushing something  _ much _ more sensitive and making you outright moan.

“fuck…” You cursed quietly, too focused on the sensation to realize that Shockwave’s fans had kicked on as well. His servo shifted and the scientist found the outer node of your valve, giving a sudden, firm rub that almost had you doubling over with a loud moan. You reactively moved a servo from his leg to grab the shelf instead, trying to steady yourself. The second time he toyed with the node, you barely noticed the data pads on the shelf rattle.

Shockwave’s finger shifted slightly and he growled, “Control it.” All you could do was give a high-pitched whine in response as he stroked the outer valve again. A couple of the tablets shifted, but not as much as before. The scientist gave a sound of approval and actually stopped a moment later. 

You glared back at Shockwave as best you could, but it was hard to look serious when you were holding onto the shelf just to remain standing.

“A change in location would be logical, unless you refuse.” He suggested, engine still idling heavily against your back. The option took you a second to process, but the weakness in your leg struts answered it for you.

“I’ll...go with the..logical solution.” You finally replied, vocals laced with static as you swore Shockwave’s fans spun up a bit more. When you tried to stand straight again, your balance wasn’t quite there and almost fell, but the scientist caught your frame and moved to pick you up bridal-style. You were a little surprised at first, but Shockwave wasted no time in turning to walk toward a door that wasn’t too far away.

Once it opened, you realized that the scientist had his habsuite connected to the lab, likely so he could keep a close eye on the experiments he had going. You didn’t get time to glance around, since Shockwave carried you over to the large berth and laid you down. His servo was back on your frame a moment later, immediately reaching down to continue where he’d left off.

The renewed jolt of pleasure sent a shock of static through your frame and your servos reflexively reached up to grab hold of anything you could. A couple fingers managed to hook the top rim of Shockwave’s armor, apparently touching something sensitive because he  _ growled.  _ It hit you a second later, and you ran your fingers along the edge again, giving a little tug.

Shockwave leaned in slightly, but never stopped teasing your valve. Once he was close enough, you leaned up and went for one of the lower prongs of his helm, placing a light kiss before cheekily licking the metal. You didn’t expect the moan that came right after, nor when the scientist leaned in closer in response. 

You gave another little lick, hand idly finding a wire and giving a careful tug as you turned your helm slightly and gently bit down on the section. Shockwave’s engine revved hard and the vibration shook his frame, going straight down to his hand against your valve. 

The sudden intensity caused you to throw your helm back, frame shaking as an overload finally hit. You barely managed to let out a garbled combination of a curse, static, and Shockwave’s name before your vocalizer decided that was enough. You still had a death grip on the scientist’s armor, but his motions didn’t stop until the roiling charge subsided to a manageable level. 

Shockwave’s gaze was incredibly intense, taking in your expression and reactions with a ravenous interest. His servo finally retreated after a moment, giving you a chance to release your grip as he shifted back. Your optics glanced over Shockwave’s frame and you realized that at some point, his paneling had retracted as well. 

You felt the static crackle up your backstrut again as Shockwave took his lubricant-slicked servo and stroked it along his spike. Not that you were having second-thoughts, but the scientist’s equipment was somewhat intimidating. You finally looked back up at Shockwave when he spoke, shifting to cage you against the berth as he balanced on his cannon arm.

“It will be uncomfortable for a moment.” He informed, an audible strain in his vocals as you felt the tip of his spike brush your valve opening. Shockwave’s helm nudged against your neck cabling as he slowly moved forward. Everything was fine for a moment, until you felt a slight sting. 

You made a face at the feeling, gritting your dentae a bit until you felt something like a barrier give way. The burning sensation wasn’t unbearable, but you didn’t get long to dwell on the pain. Shockwave’s spike continued to slide in slowly until he was completely seated, your valve calipers twitching uncontrollably against the girth. 

Shockwave shifted and placed his servo on your hip, tilting it up slightly before he gave a shallow thrust. Visible shocks of electricity skittered over your body, the charge easily overtaking any discomfort you still felt. You heard the scientist groan as he did it again, your servos coming up to grab his plating. 

The scientist started a rhythm and every thrust sent a shiver through your frame. A second overload was already starting to build, but you soon became a little impatient at the tempered momentum and turned your helm to nip at Shockwave’s finial and mutter breathlessly, “Harder.” 

Shockwave suddenly snapped his hips forward and a cry ripped itself from your vocalizer, helm thrown back as static crackled between both your frames at the new tempo. “Satisfactory?” You absently heard him growl against your audial, and managed a gasping ‘yes!’ in reply.

It didn’t take much longer until you were teetering on the edge of overload again, Shockwave’s iron grip on your hip keeping you in place throughout the increasingly erratic pace. A minute shift in the scientist’s next thrust had you seeing static, crackles of electricity sparking across your body with the overload. An uncontrolled flare of magnetism lashed out with the intensity, sending a few items flying across the room. 

Your cry of Shockwave’s name almost sounded like auto-tune, and the feedback of charge pulled him over the edge soon after. The scientist slowed, drawing out the aftershocks until the static died down. Shockwave withdrew and moved to sit up slightly, having to pause for you to unlatch your servos from his armor. 

You couldn’t help a stupid smile as you tried to sit up yourself, processor finally kicking back on as you stated, “Well,  _ that _ was a new experience.” It was a slight tease, but you guessed Shockwave wouldn’t take offense, considering your usual terrible jokes.

The scientist’s optic flashed for a second and focused on your with something of a side-eye as he replied, “Merely a first trial.”


	12. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew what you had to do.

A week or so passed, and your schedule remained relatively the same, aside from the occasional visit to the lab.  Read, train, scout, and repeat. That had been all you were doing since you came online in your new frame.

You were mid-stride and headed toward the training area when a message popped up in your vision.

‘Nighthawk, report to bridge for assignment.’

The instruction caught you off guard, mostly because it seemed like Soundwave had been more interested in developing your mass-blade wielding skill lately. You weren’t one hundred percent sure you’d mastered it yet, so the change in schedule was a bit odd.

With a shrug, you changed your intended course and headed toward the bridge instead. Hopefully they weren’t going to assign you to more scouting missions with Starscream.

* * *

Upon arrival to the bridge, you gave a bow to the overlord despite his attention on a data pad in his hands. You waited patiently until he glanced up, handing the tablet to an Eradicon before he spoke.

“Soundwave informs me that your training has reached an acceptable level of competency.” That was close to a compliment, if you thought about it long enough. You gave a slight nod in return and replied, “I hope my Lord is pleased.”

Megatron gave a short hum of agreement before he continued, “Be that as it may,” Your comment was brushed off, “If you succeed in your next assignment, I  _ may _ be inclined to agree with the sentiment.”

You weren’t sure what that meant, so you just nodded as the overlord approached. He seemed to assess you for a moment, debating something with himself before he spoke again.

“As it stands, despite your vehement effort to prove yourself a Decepticon, I’ve decided to allow you a particularly  _ unique _ rite.” You really didn’t like the sound of that.

Carefully, you questioned, “And, what might that be, my Lord?” You tried not to show any hesitation, especially under Megatron’s discerning gaze.

The overlord paused a moment longer, opting to clarify, “Generally, if one wishes to pledge their allegiance to the Decepticon cause, a piece of their spark casing is taken and cast into a brand, with my approval.” You didn’t particularly balk at the idea, especially since you were pretty sure you’d already died once and come back.

“Though, given your origin as an organic aligned with the Autobots, I believe the task should be more...hands-on, so to speak.” Megatron’s optics narrowed slightly as a sharp-toothed grin spread across his faceplates.

You really didn’t like where this was going. The next words that came from the overlord sent a cold chill down your back, “Therefore, your assignment is to  _ hunt _ an Autobot.”

Your couldn’t hide the tremble in your wings at the order. Shock, dread, and guilt twisted your tanks into something worse than you’d felt during this entire endeavor. 

Megatron seemed to ignore your internal struggle as he continued, “The option to capture or kill is yours, of course,” He sounded absolutely nonchalant, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

“However, be aware that should you return  _ without _ completing your mission,” You glanced slowly up at the pause, not realizing your gaze had slipped to the floor during your tumultuous war of thoughts, “It will be assumed that your loyalties have turned traitorous,” Megatron leaned in, punctuating his next words, “And the failure will be dealt with accordingly.”

You could barely feel yourself nod in agreement, struggling to reply with a quiet, “Yes, my Lord.”

Seemingly satisfied, the overlord stood straight again and turned to take another tablet from a nearby bot, simply returning to business while your spark felt like it wanted to tear itself in half.

“Soundwave will relay the projection points at which you may have the highest chance at encountering a target. Furthermore, your visual feed will be monitored for progress. I suggest you prepare yourself for deployment, Nighthawk.” 

You barely registered yourself bowing at the dismissal and leaving the bridge. After stepping outside, you had to stop for a moment.

Megatron’s words kept playing over and over in your head,  _ Your assignment, is to hunt an Autobot. _

_ Capture or kill. _

Your feet carried you down the hall, but you had no idea where you were going, lost in the deep realization of what you had to do.

There was no way to know who you’d find. Bulkhead? Bumblebee or Arcee? Even...Optimus?

You shook your helm quickly, trying to dislodge the intruding thoughts. But the idea that you’d actually have to fight and possibly  _ kill  _ one of the Autobots still made chills crawl across your plating.

Anxiety static pricked at the back of your neck and wings. If you didn’t succeed, it wouldn’t matter if you got killed. You were sure failure meant death on either end, be it from those you betrayed or your allies.

If you could really call the Decepticons allies, that is.

With every step, your mind kept flicking between the idea that you likely had to kill one of your old friends, and the horror of realizing you were actually  _ glad _ the Decepticons almost trusted you. The dichotomy of guilt and anticipation was jerking your systems in two completely opposing directions.

You wanted to succeed, but you didn’t.

To prove yourself capable, but also make yourself a monster.

Your pace slowed to a stop, and you glanced up once your mind stopped traversing the terrible string of events that brought you to this crossroad.

The entryway to the armory stood before you, far more ominous in that moment, than the warlord had ever been.

As if on remote action, your frame turned and approached the door.

 

You knew what you had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmboi it's gettin' serious. The show's not over yet.
> 
> Who's the unlucky Autobot, and furthermore, are you going to actually succeed?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Emotionless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You couldn't figure out why you still didn't care.

Engines rumbled quietly as you flew across the landscape, the last dusty colors of sunset painting the horizon’s edge. It was logical, you thought, to head out closer to dark so as your paint job didn’t appear too obvious from a distance.

To be honest, logic was the only thing that was keeping you moving forward at this point.

You’d taken an array of blades from the armory, magnetizing them to your frame as your weapon of choice. The metal glinted slightly, but it wasn’t obvious enough to give away your position.

Following the coordinates given to you by Soundwave, you flew high and kept your sensors alert for any Cybertronian signals. Despite the Autobots having found out you were a spy, they didn’t seem to realize you’d still managed to take a slew of data from their system.

You absent-mindedly noticed that the predicted routes were the same as their usual scouting schedule.

Worse than that, the realization of who you were likely to come across finally dawned on you.

This...was not going to be easy.

You turned slightly and continued to follow the road below, scanning each set of headlights you saw along the path.

Car.

Truck.

Another car.

It went on for a while, each passing vehicle that wasn’t a target made your anxiety tick upward. You tried to ignore it, pushing the mission objective to the forefront of you mind. Just as you thought you’d be flying around for hours trying to find an Autobot, a ping on your scanner popped up.

The signal was coming up the road from behind, so you lowered the output of your thrusters and slowed. The last glimmers of light were barely visible over the horizon now, the dark skies helping to disguise your presence with abhorrently perfect timing.

You didn’t want to do this, but it was an order. The ultimatum was the same as it had been since your first choice aboard the Nemesis.

 

Succeed or die.

  


Thankfully, your frame had a particular quirk of deflecting sensor waves due to the alt mode, and anything short of being incredibly close or within visual range would keep you mostly hidden. You glided slightly further to the side, keeping pace with the Autobot below until you could find an opening.

The road curved around, leading to a bridge across a ravine before a forest began on the other side. You kept a careful watch of the other passing cars, nerves steadily increasing as you noticed there was a significant gap coming up.

The dread clenched at your spark, but all you could do was try and ignore it. You just...you just had to do it.

Once the bot cleared the last passing car, you waited until the vehicle was out of visual range before you fired up your thrusters and spun, changing course to dive right down at the driving Autobot from the right.

The ambush apparently surprised your prey, especially when the nose cone of your alt mode caught the side of their vehicle mode and the momentum sent both of you hurtling into the forest.

Your sensors were going crazy trying to avoid incoming trees, but you flew far enough into the wooded area to finally transform and skid backwards slightly. A battle mask hid your lower face in preparation for a fight, but you couldn’t help the grim expression behind it.

Your target had been disoriented from the sudden change in direction, but they’d already transformed and had a blaster trained on you as they moved to stand.

“Don’t move!”

You glanced up from the crouched position, red optics shining brightly in the dark as you assessed the stance for a second.

Arcee never stayed down for long.

The first response that came to mind made you smile behind the mask, despite your internal conflict, “Then I won’t.”

A knife from one of your shoulders disengaged and flew directly into the barrel of Arcee’s cannon, sending a shower of sparks flying as the weapon was damaged. You saw her raise the other arm and a second blade flew in an arc, burying itself in her forearm to stop the transformation of her other weapon.

Arcee growled and yanked the blade out of her cannon, switching to her forearm blade instead. A flash of energon spurted from her arm, but the femme just grit her denta and did it anyway.

By now, you’d already stood, the array of weaponry on your armor hovering over your frame in place.

“Who the hell are you?!” Arcee spat before she charged forward, taking a swipe. You dodged, but an eerily calm thought in the back of your head whispered how much easier it was than training with Soundwave.

The Autobot kept up her assault, back you up step by step. What slashes you didn’t deflect left cuts and gouges, streams of pink staining your black armor each time.

You narrowly missed a swipe at your neck cabling, but immediately saw a small opening the moment after the blow whiffed past. A long blade that had been hidden near your wings released and slipped around under your arm. Arcee’s furious gaze was focused on your face, and it took a split second too long for her to realize that was a mistake.

A high pitched squeal of metal sounded as the weapon thrust upward through Arcee’s frame, angled from her abdominal area to just between the kibble on her back. It hadn’t hit her spark, but it was close.

Energon was coughed from her mouth, landing in a pink splatter across your plating before Arcee took a half step back, servo shaking as she reached up to touch the blade’s handle. She snarled weakly through the pain, but you took the next opportunity to grab her by the neck cabling and turn to pin the femme against a nearby tree.

Two more blades sunk themselves into Arcee’s shoulders to keep her pinned, drawing a shout of pain from the Autobot warrior.

You assessed the femme for a moment, but reacted quickly when it looked like Arcee was going to try and take off your arm with her blade, two more daggers flying up and pinning her wrists to the tree with another pained cry.

The worst part was, you didn’t care.

Ever since the fight started, it was like your emotions just...turned off.

The passing thought that Shockwave may have done more than just give you a frame was swept away quickly as Arcee spat more energon at your face.

“Damned pitspawn son of a-” Six more blades cut Arcee’s curse off as they pinned her legs, digging deep into the tree behind her.

Your optics narrowed slightly at Arcee’s struggle, looking manic as she tried to pull away from the restraints despite the blade sticking through her middle. Now that the risk of decapitation had been lowered, you might as well answer her question.

“You asked who I was.” The words sounded almost foreign to your own audials, purely informative and flat. All you got in return was a pained glare and half-snarl from the femme.

Another knife stabbed into her side as you leaned a little closer, looking Arcee in the optic. Your new eyes were similar to the ones the nanites gave you when your organic body was reformed, but you doubted she would notice.

“I don’t really expect you to remember,” Another blade sunk itself into her opposite side, drawing a pained groan as it lodged in her hip joint. “After all, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Arcee tried to headbutt your face, but you pulled back just enough to barely avoid it.

“The frag are you talking about, con?” She growled, tone strained from the pain and damage done to her internals. Despite the struggle, Arcee was going to fight it to the bitter end.

This was exactly why you knew capture was the illogical choice.

Your servo swiftly moved to grab the femme’s forehead, pinning her helm back against the tree as four more blades bayoneted various parts of her frame.

With a slight tilt of your helm, you concluded that subtlety wasn’t exactly useful at the moment and replied, “You didn’t think they’d kill their little spy just because you found out what I was doing, did you?”

It took a moment, but Arcee’s optics went wide in shock at the statement, gaze darting over your face as she pieced it together. Her expression wasn’t the battle-hardened warrior now, it was full of hurt, disbelief, and pain.

“No…” She whispered, searching your expression for anything resembling your old self. “What did they _do_ to you…?!”

A second long blade slowly disengaged from your back plating, floating around and stopping above Arcee, pointed downward at the top of her helm. It was long enough to slice clean through her head and down to her spark.

With frightening calmness, you simply replied, “They gave me what I wanted.”

There wasn’t time for a scream as the final blade fell, sheathing itself with a ringing sound that echoed through the small clearing. You waited until the last of the light died in Arcee’s optics before finally stepping away.

You turned and transformed, flying up and away from the scene just as your sensors alerted you to a ground bridge appearing where you’d just been. Flying low, you glided over the edge of the cliff and disappeared into the darkness.

You couldn’t figure out why you still didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, and Shockwave is kind of a bastard. 
> 
> It's gonna get worse. Strap in for the feels train here we go, toot toot. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! (sorry again)


	14. Floodgates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Within an hour of being an official Decepticon, you’d already broken rank.

After landing in the hangar of the Nemesis, you still felt the lingering numbness of the fight with Arcee. You weren’t sure if it was the whispers of regret, or some twisted form of disinterest at the result.

You should be _satisfied_ , right? You won.

You succeeded.

It was a spectacular show, to say the least...

So why did everything feel so...muted?

_Why didn’t you feel anything…?_

The conflict annoyed you more than anything, but you were surprised you could even notice.

The annoyance morphed into irritation. Mostly at Shockwave, since you were sure this was something to do with the scientist’s ‘gift’ of a new body.

That was the only explanation you could think of. Even during training with Soundwave, you didn’t notice the same effect of utterly soulless machination like you had on your mission.

You wanted to be furious, but that dampening feeling wouldn’t let the emotion rise. You felt like a monster.

After turning toward the main hallway, you already anticipated the order to report to the bridge. The sooner you got the debriefing done, the sooner you could interrogate Shockwave. The only good thing about your indifference was the ability to think without letting your nerves take over.

The immediate summons meant that you were still sporting the gashes and drying energon from the fight, along with a scant few blades you hadn’t used. Entering the bridge, you didn’t even flinch under the attention of the overlord.

Your wings gave an attentive twitch before you bowed slightly, expression neutral as Megatron approached with an excessively satisfied grin.

The Decepticon leader stood before you, giving a hum of approval before he declared, “Your mission feed was outstanding, Nighthawk. I must say, I’m impressed.” The compliment didn’t really get a rise out of you, but you nodded in gracious acceptance anyway.

“Thank you, My Lord.” Your tone was flat, prompting the overlord to tilt his helm inquisitively.

“It’s unusual for you to be so impassive.” He observed, raising a brow. You got the distinct sense that Megatron knew precisely why, but he was baiting a response.

You felt a small rise in irritation, but the numbness didn’t completely lift. The increase from before was slight, but noticeable nonetheless.

Looking up at Megatron, you replied evenly, “My apologies. I believe it’s something I may need to speak with Shockwave about. However,” You gave a slight bow and added, “I believe my success was merely a result of Soundwave’s training, My Lord.”

The overlord smirked at your deflection of the praise and insisted, “Now, now, Nighthawk. You were the one with the killing blow. Credit where credit is due, after all.” Your optics narrowed, but you didn’t react otherwise.

Megatron turned to approach one of the displays, leading your gaze up to the screen. It was replaying your recording of the fight. Specifically, the moment you’d told Arcee who you were before the final blade struck.

“I’ll have Knockout prepare the necessary tools for installing your brand.” Megatron spoke as he watched the close up of Arcee’s faceplates as the sickening ring of metal sounded in the recording. “Once you’ve had your discussion with Shockwave, report to the medical bay for the procedure.” He turned to look back at you with an approving smirk and added, “You are dismissed, Decepticon Nighthawk.”

Your wings rose minutely at the address, but you gave a final bow before turning to leave the bridge. Willing yourself to summon every ounce of possible fury, you headed to the lab.

\--

Upon entering, you saw Shockwave sitting at his desk, looking over a few data pads. You forced as much of an angry expression as you could manage and approached, crossing your arms as you stopped next to the scientist.

Shockwave had apparently noticed your arrival, since he looked up once you got close. You noticed his gaze shifting to look over the various cuts and dried energon on your frame, but you were still trying to hold on to that little bit of emotion as you talked through his assessment.

“I need to speak with you.” You forced, though only the tiniest lilt of annoyance really coming through.

“You should have gone to the medical bay first.” He stated, moving to stand from his seat. You did your best to glare at the scientist as your replied, “They’re superficial. I’ve got something more pressing than shallow cuts to discuss with you.”

Despite your closed-off posture, Shockwave raised his servo to trace over a cut crossing your cheek and the edge of your helm, drawing a small tingle of pain from the injury.

“It is illogical to put unnecessary concerns before physical damage.” He sounded somewhat distracted, optic still tracing over your battle damage. You narrowed your optics and used a servo to bat his hand away.

“It isn’t illogical when my entire emotional process tree _shut down_ while I was fighting Arcee.” You wanted to shout, but the words only came out as a slight growl and you continued, “It didn’t happen when I was training with Soundwave, and I want to know what you did.”

The demand didn’t seem to deter Shockwave at all, his servo simply moving to tilt your chin up so he could nudge your helm aside to see the splatter of the Autobot’s energon across the other side of your face.

“Your worry is irrelevant. The string of code resulting in dampened emotional processing was merely an addition to your battle protocol routines.” Shockwave didn’t sound like wanted to explain it, servo slipping a little lower on your neck cables as he absently added, “It appears to have worked beautifully in your favor.”

A whisper of anger fluttered across the back of your mind, but quickly disappeared into the numbness once again.

You did you best impression of a snarl and hissed, “I still _can’t feel anything_. I want to be angry at you, furious, even…” Your servo came up and grabbed at the scientist’s wrist, but Shockwave just flexed his thumb and forced your chin up again. His helm cocked in mock curiosity at your statement, but you knew he wasn’t really concerned.

What good was the worry of a test subject when the scientist’s experiment was a success?

Your servo tightened its grip on Shockwave’s arm, but he appeared unbothered, simply opting to reply, “The process should cease sometime after your battle protocols have fully run their course. The fact that you wish to be ‘furious’ toward me may be delaying the ending script.”

“Bastard.” You stated flatly, prompting Shockwave’s finials to twitch in amusement as he gave a quiet chuckle at the accusation.

“Perhaps, but your emotional functions should return to normal shortly. However,” He leaned in a bit and added, “Voicing your discontent will not change the programming, I’m afraid.”

You gave a slight huff and pulled Shockwave’s hand away before deciding you weren’t going to get anything else out of the scientist besides self-satisfaction at the results.

“Well then, congratulations on another successful experiment I suppose.” Trying to sound sarcastic, you gave another dampened glare at the scientist before you turned. You heard Shockwave huff in amusement as you walked away, but you had other things to do than dwell on wanting to rip the scientist a new one for messing with your mind.

You trudged down the hall toward the direction of the med bay, trying to focus on the fact you were finally getting your insignia. After turning into the main hall, you saw Starscream, of all mechs, walking your way.

The universe just wasn’t going to give you a break, was it?

If possible, your expression flattened even more as you continued on your way, opting to ignore the other seeker’s excitement at seeing you approach.

“Well, if it isn’t Nighthawk, Autobot assassin extraordinaire.” Starscream seemed entirely too congratulatory at your mission success, but at least you could feel actual annoyance at the comment, now.

“I don’t have time to talk, ‘commander’ Starscream.” The intonation of his title was apparently brushed off as he turned to keep pace and follow you.

“Oh, but I simply _must_ congratulate you on such a stunning mission. After all, it’s only appropriate that we seekers have _both_ successfully dispatched an Autobot. I, myself, disposed of the femme’s counterpart Cliffjumper a while back. It’s only fitting to have a matching pair.” Starscream’s wings gave a haughty twitch with his brag. A sharp prick of anguish broke through to your processor when he mentioned Arcee.

The air commander didn’t even notice as he went on, “Though, getting rid of that little turboferret was also quite satisfying, I must say.”

You stopped in your tracks and looked sharply at Starscream. “What did you just say?”

“Oh! You weren’t here for that. We had some little meatbag decide to play spy. It was so simple, I merely leaked their scan data to the Autobots and they were gone within the week! Shame I didn’t get to dispose of them myself.”

Starscream had approximately three seconds of self-satisfaction before you grabbed him by the neck cabling and slammed his back against the wall. Your emotions came back as a flood, jacking up your anger to the point you went beyond a reasonable reaction.

“ _You_ OUTED me.” You snarled, blades popping off your armor to point at Starscream’s helm. His optics widened as much as they could, shocked and giving a quick glance at the blades before looking back to you.

“What?! What are you t-talking about, I-!” Starscream stammered and quietly squeaked when the weapons inched closer.

“ _I’m the ferret_ you absolute _idiot_! You _ruined_ my mission and would’ve gotten me _killed_ if Shockwave hadn’t been planning to put me in this slagging frame from the beginning!” It took a second or two for Starscream to put the pieces together, wings scraping the wall as they shot up when he realized what that meant.

“You- no, but- HOW?!” You could practically smell the frying wires as his processor worked through the facts.

The overactive emotion string suddenly clicked back into normal parameters and you felt the fury back off, blinking at the unusual sensation of just having it gone once your system stabilized.

You gave a huff and the blades returned to their places on your armor. Once you released Starscream, he grabbed the wall for purchase. Even after backing off, the air commander remained flat against the structure looking like a deer in headlights.

With a final glare, you conceded, “I guess it doesn’t matter, now...just don’t get in my way.” You turned and continued toward your original destination, leaving the other seeker stunned into silence.

Within an hour of being an official Decepticon, you’d already broken rank.

You were probably going to get reprimanded for threatening an officer, but at least Soundwave heard the confession as well. Maybe if you were lucky, the counterbalance of your successful mission would weigh it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops, I missed the notes on this one at first.
> 
> Mad at Shockwave and having broken Starscream's brain, how's the rest going to play out now that you've proven yourself?
> 
> Is it going to be smooth sailing, or is it all going to go downhill like a sled on ice?
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> So you thought you'd seen the last of me, eh? Also, I lied, here's another cliffhanger. I'm going to post a sketch image for the above mentioned 'blank slate frame' on my tumblr sometime, if you want to check it out.
> 
> ** the original rating has been upped because of where the story is going. I added a couple tags, so be sure to double check if you've gotten to ch.10**
> 
> Thanks for reading, and welcome back!


End file.
